Starting the Life.

At least I was awake by this point and I suppose it was a start?

As well as the dangermouse one, I also loved this Miami Dolphins T but I wasn't really showing it at this point.

Looking back at this pic now I can see a guy who's completely lost. He was... completely and utterly lost. No bloody wonder though. I can remember those concrete buildings that I was looking at out that window and off in the distance, the new hospital that they were building at the time.

A bit more had been explained to me about what was wrong but I had no idea of the gravity of the situation. In spite of being rigged up to a drip and my brain being mashed, I still had this idea that i'd be out of there in a few days and back to my job, house and normality. The machines and daytime pj's would be gone, shirt and trousers back, and i'd be back behind a desk doing whatever it was that I was doing a few weeks before.

Consultants were coming round to evaluate me, nurses were fluffing my pillows and tending to my every need but the guy in this picture is lost, completely lost.

Obviously I hope you never do, but if you ever get told that you've got cancer, you get told. If something like this happens to you, it's other people who are getting told what's happening. They get told right over you, whilst you sit there listening, looking up at them like a kid. A thirty-six year old kid; the third man.

Although I had more pressing issues at this point it's this 'Third Man' concept that I guess i'll return to again. But all this aside, at this moment in time I was simply a bloke staring (rather blankly!) out of a window, in need of a haircut, wearing a Miami Dolphins t-shirt.